267 Ditch the Stress This Holiday Season
The holiday season is supposed to be filled with joy, right? But for so many of us, it’s become one of the most stressful times of the year. In today’s episode, I’m sharing my personal journey of transforming holiday stress into something so much better, along with key strategies to help you reclaim the magic and truly enjoy the season! We’ll dive into simple yet powerful tips to rethink your holiday to-do list, let go of unnecessary traditions, and focus on what brings you joy. Plus, I’ll show you how to involve your family in the planning process so you’re not carrying the burden alone.
Here’s a little preview of what we’ll cover:
- My personal holiday struggles and how I overcame them
- The pressure of holiday expectations and how to let them go
- Strategies to plan a joyful, stress-free holiday season
- Tips for involving your family and sharing the load
- How to create new traditions that actually work for you
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FULL TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] intro: Today's message is one that is really, really important to me, especially to any of you out there that the holiday season has just kind of become one more stressful to do for you, right? Between all of the events and the gifts and the baking and the parties and the decorating and all of that.
[00:00:19] intro: If you're looking back to your childhood and thinking, Oh, that was such a magical time. But now here as an adult, you're thinking, God, this is a lot of work. This message is for you here today
[00:00:31] Megan: hey friends, welcome back to Work Life Harmony. Well, at the time that you are listening to this podcast when it is first released, we are rolling into what is traditionally known as a pretty crazy time of year. We're rolling into the last two months of the year. Lots of holidays, lots of stuff, events, et cetera.
[00:00:50] Megan: It can be a very challenging time for a lot of people. And it was fascinating to me the other day that a couple women reached out and shared that they are, if they were being perfectly honest, that they have gotten to a point in their lives where they dread the holiday season, something that they used to love.
[00:01:09] Megan: They are now dreading. And I think that This really isn't that uncommon. And so today I want to take a little bit of time and share with you some tips that I've really been using a lot over the last few years so that the holiday season can be something I get to enjoy instead of just creating a magical experience for everybody else.
[00:01:30] Megan: And for me, this started, man, I would say probably about. eight, nine years ago and was at the stage of life where it was like, you know, four or five year old my, my daughter was. And so, you know, really the holidays, Christmas in particular, a big deal, right? Lots of fun, lots of interesting things, you know, so much the kids get excited about.
[00:01:52] Megan: And I can vividly remember it was for me, December 26th. I was up early in the morning before anyone else was except for the dogs and came downstairs, made a cup of coffee and just sat down on the couch and, you know, all the Christmas decorations were up. There was still wrapping paper on the floor.
[00:02:10] Megan: And I remember just fighting back tears and I felt like I no other way to describe it, but just like this massive holiday hangover. And I was just looking around the house and reminiscing of what it was like when I was a child with the holidays and how much I loved them. And it was wonderful. And here I was just kind of like, thank God that's over.
[00:02:36] Megan: And just kind of looking at the next several days ahead of me, that stretch between New Year's is like, okay, like how do I regroup and recover from this? And in that moment I realized I don't want it to be like this, right? The holidays used to be a time that I loved and instead it had turned into when I really sat down and looked at it and it just turned into yet another thing on the to do list.
[00:03:04] Megan: And it's not just like the holiday sits as one thing on the to do list. It generates, 8, 000 items onto our list of things to do. And so I really that year made a commitment to myself to say, I'm not doing this anymore. And every year I always want to spread the message, especially to the moms out there and to the women.
[00:03:28] Megan: It is not your job. to provide and create an incredible holiday season for everybody in your life at the expense of you not enjoying it yourself. I don't know when that shifted, but there seems to be this idea that it is upon us. to create magical memories for everyone. And here's what's really awful about it.
[00:03:55] Megan: When you go look at social media, all of the holiday movies, right? The ads, everything, they show so much, all the stuff, the decorations, the cooking, the parties of this, that, that, and the other, and everyone's looking relaxed and happy. Nobody's showing the reality of what it takes behind the scenes to create and produce something like that.
[00:04:20] Megan: So as always, we take it upon ourselves to go, okay, well, I got to create all that. And then we think, what am I doing wrong? Like on the Hallmark channel, they make it look like everyone's having a great time and all these things are magically happening yet here I am, just absolutely killing myself to do all of these things, which means I'm not having a good time.
[00:04:42] Megan: let's talk about some strategies that we can put in place so that you can still have the magic of the season in a way that you desire to have it. But not at the expense of killing yourself. Now here's what I'm not going to be talking about today. All right. This is not some ridiculous, let's make sure we drink eight glasses of water and carve out time for a bubble bath with your essential oils.
[00:05:06] Megan: I mean, Hey, don't get me wrong. I love that. But that's not a pragmatic solution. To this problem that just seems to escalate and get bigger and bigger every year around these expectations of the holidays. So here's the first thing I want you to do. I want you to pull out a piece of paper and just make a list of what are all the things that typically fall on your shoulders during, during this time of year.
[00:05:33] Megan: And I really want you to think about all of it, right? Is there a lot of baking that involved? Is there crafting? Is there tons of shopping? Is there gift giving decorating for some people? Wrapping presents can be a big nightmare. I have like, I have a sister who absolutely hates gift wrapping. And really think through what are all All the things list every single thing separately that has kind of escalated for you over the years that you feel right now are all the things that you are trying to get done.
[00:06:04] Megan: Are there events that you throw? Are there guests that you have over? Are there big meals, right? All of it. And even with the decorating, if decorating is a big thing for you, really think about, are there parts of that that are really labor intensive for you? So the first thing you're going to do is make an honest list so you can see the realities of, yeah, here's everything I typically juggle during the holiday season.
[00:06:29] Megan: Now, I want you to step away from it for a few minutes and come back on it with fresh eyes. And then I want you to circle the things That you yourself get pleasure out of. All right. Cause there are things that oftentimes end up on our list of things that we're doing during the holiday season because it's what you did when you were a kid or someone told you you should, or someone like someone else in your family said we should do this and then you end up doing it.
[00:06:59] Megan: But now that, you know, the responsibility is on you. an example that I have in my own life that I shifted years ago when I went through this process, I made the list of all the things. And one of the things that I had done every holiday season was bake a lot and bring tins of homemade goods to a lot of our neighbors.
[00:07:19] Megan: And I sat and really thought about that and I was like, I used to like that, but now that is one more pretty large thing because there was always at least eight different things in the tin, then buying of the tins and then getting it all wrapped so it was fresh, you know, all of that. And I really sat back and thought about it and I was like, Oh, we did that as kids.
[00:07:39] Megan: And it was a tradition I carried over from my childhood that my mom did. Years ago when it was just me and I didn't have all the responsibilities I do today, I really love that. I enjoyed spending multiple days in the kitchen baking. Now it had just become one more thing that was becoming to be a burden.
[00:07:59] Megan: And I realized. I don't have to do that. Right. But it was just one of those things. It's what we've always done. And I guarantee you if you make this list and then come at it with fresh eyes, you're going to start to see there are things on there. That maybe you're doing that if you're honest with yourself, you're like, I don't get any pleasure out of this anymore.
[00:08:21] Megan: So the first thing we want to do is identify what are the things that you yourself genuinely love that bring you joy with the season. All right. What are the traditions we've started is we, we decorate a gingerbread house. Like we kind of have a whole afternoon where we do gingerbread house decorating.
[00:08:39] Megan: I genuinely love that one because I've removed the burden of making the gingerbread house myself. I get pre bought gingerbread houses. But that was something that for me was like, no, I, I genuinely do love that if it's not becoming stressful. And one more thing I'm squeezing in. Right. So we want to circle, what are those things?
[00:08:58] Megan: Now, here's the important part for you. The next step in this process is to actually look at your calendar. You knew I couldn't have an episode without talking about looking at our calendars, right? But you need to look at the realities of what are your commitments between now and the end of the year and see, do you have space on your calendar?
[00:09:18] Megan: For something that might be a half day event or a full day event. For us, it's kind of a full weekend when we like to bring out all of the decorations that we like to put up in our house. Well, when we pull out the calendar, what that means is now you're actually creating an appointment with yourself and protecting the time that you need to do those activities in a stress free way.
[00:09:44] Megan: Because we don't think, I mean, I would never think to, Oh, let me go, you know, write down on my calendar that I think this is the day that we're going to decorate gingerbread houses. But here's what happens if I don't, because I know for us it's like a half day event. If I don't proactively think about the day that we're going to do that and write that down in my calendar, other things are going to pile up.
[00:10:07] Megan: Invitations are going to come in. I'm going to be like, Oh, I got to go, you know, do this errand or that errand. Go over here. Watch this movie over here. You know, all the hubbub that happens. And then all of a sudden it's like, Oh crap, we haven't done the gingerbread houses. And now we're cramming it in. in a way that's not enjoyable anymore.
[00:10:24] Megan: Right. And that's how everything with the holiday season started to feel. It was just like squeezing it and squeezing it and squeezing it in. But if we can take a step back and first, Identify what are the things you really enjoy and then make sure you're protecting the time for that. Now, here's the next step in this process, all right?
[00:10:46] Megan: And this is going to involve all the people that you typically serve and create a magical holiday for. So for me, it means I'm sitting down with my husband and my daughter and I went through, I created that whole list. I circled the things that I really love. And then with the stuff that was left on the list, we sat down as a family that first year I said, I can't do all this anymore.
[00:11:09] Megan: And I said, guys, here are the things that we squeeze in every holiday season. And the ones that aren't circled are things that if I'm being honest, just feel like a lot of extra work for me. And it means that I don't get to enjoy the things I have circled because I'm juggling all of these other things instead.
[00:11:29] Megan: And so now this gave us the opportunity as a family to say, okay, well, maybe there were things on that list that other family members love. They're like, oh, but that's like my favorite thing. Well, if it's something that they love. Well, now how can they take ownership of that? And just the other year, one of the things that I, I usually have always enjoyed is I have one of those villages, like ceramic villages that I love to set up for the holidays.
[00:11:59] Megan: Well, it got to be, I mean, that by itself is a good five, six hour task, getting all of it out and packaging it all, then, you know, getting the lighting all done and all of that. And a couple of years ago I was looking at our calendar and I just saw getting that done just felt really heavy. And so we had our kind of pre holiday, you know, tailgating here as a family.
[00:12:19] Megan: And I just, I told my husband and daughter and said, guys, just not gonna, just don't see the village set up happening this year. And they were both devastated. Like, but we gotta have the village. So I said, okay, you guys are setting up the village. You know, if you want it, you two need to figure this out by yourself.
[00:12:36] Megan: So they kind of looked at each other and they're like, okay, but that means, you know, we're You know, it was fair. They said, okay, mom, but then guess what? You don't get to come back and say, you don't like the way we set it up. So I was like, all right, fair. That is fair. So it gave me a release from setting up the village.
[00:12:53] Megan: And then it also created a really fun, what is now kind of becoming their tradition. Now if you follow me on social media, you may remember a couple years ago when I shared. The village set up done by my husband and daughter that year definitely not the way I would have done it. They added in a abominable snowman kind of unsavory scene in the village, but they had the best time doing that together.
[00:13:19] Megan: And so now we've kind of created a new tradition in our family. They do the village set up and they like to get really, really creative with it, but now everybody's winning. Right? So they get to have a tradition that they love that they genuinely enjoy. And it's not more one half two for me. And when, you know, I didn't circle, Hey, I want to bake for the entire neighborhood.
[00:13:43] Megan: You know, that the response from my family was, Oh, well, we've always done that. I'm like, you're right, but that's a lot of work. And if you guys want to do that, then let's talk about and look at our calendars and figure out how can we do this in a way that's stress free, right? And everyone agreed. Yeah, we'll go ahead and let that go.
[00:13:59] Megan: We're still going to do the holiday baking that we love for ourselves for when we have family over and that, but that's it, right? I've dropped off something that used to be on the list. So I would encourage you. To really put some thought into it before this holiday season. Maybe it's time to let some stuff go that you've just been doing on autopilot because it's quote, what you always do.
[00:14:26] Megan: Maybe there are things that other people love, but you kind of own, right? That's become your responsibility. This is an opportunity for you to pass ownership off onto someone else and say, if this is really magical and important to you, then great. I'm going to let you run with that. And then together as a family, you can look at your calendar.
[00:14:47] Megan: And if you have some of those traditions that take a significant amount of time, you know, like we have a weekend where we like to decorate, I mentioned our, you know, gingerbread house thing. I like to always have two Saturdays. Where I actually do enjoy wrapping Christmas presents. So I like to have two Saturdays where I get to go hide upstairs with cheesy holiday movies and all the wrapping supplies out and I wrap presents for a couple hours and I love that.
[00:15:12] Megan: And that's something I do. If I've turned that into my own personal tradition, that makes. You know, a, a, what would just be another to do a way that's really enjoyable for me. So remember you have the right and you deserve to enjoy this holiday season as much as the people that you live with, that you love, et cetera.
[00:15:40] Megan: It is not your job and responsibility to create magic for everyone else. At the expense of yourself. So if you have listened to this and you can actually go do your homework, I would love it. If you head over to Instagram, you can find me at Megan Sumrall and I want you to DM me and let me know what are you changing up this year?
[00:16:06] Megan: What are you taking off your list? What are you transferring ownership of? What are you scheduling? How are you actually creating a schedule or an appointment? To have the space for you to do the things that you enjoy in a stress free way, right? Kind of the example of, I already know what day I think we're going to be doing gingerbread house decorating.
[00:16:29] Megan: Now, noticed I said, I think, right, it's on my calendar, but if something comes up, an invitation or something for that day that I might want to say yes to, I'll see, Hey, this is when we're going to do gingerbread decorating. Is there a day that we should move that to? To be able to say yes to this, or is it a better decision for us to say no, right?
[00:16:50] Megan: Just because it's on my calendar doesn't mean I'm not going to move it, but it's a placeholder. It's a reminder for me to protect that space. So share with me what you're going to be shifting up for this holiday season. So that. As you wrap up this year, you're not exhausted, right? And you can actually bring some of that magic back that so many of us had in our childhood this time of year back for yourself again.
[00:17:17] Megan: Okay. You deserve to enjoy this as much as everybody else.
